MAKING THE MOMENTS COUNT.....

I was visiting Thailand Gal blog today and found her piece about re-connecting with her Mom. It really touched my heart.

I have had a similar experience, though with a sibling who was a thorn in my side for years. And now, nearly ten years later, we are friends. We "click". We care about each other. We know where the landmines of our relationship are planted -- and we don't walk there.

How did we do this? It's a long story which I am willing to share and which I think is worth reading about. Come with me...

Changed my mind. You probably have things to do and meals to cook and children to look after. Here's the story in a nutshell -- which will enlighten you and not take up a lot of your time!

My sib and I finally "called it quits" over some petty thing and we went our separate ways.

This caused some pain to our parents, but then they were sick and tired of the way we were enemies for years -- so what was worse?

Years and years passed by. There was no contact between us. But we'd both visit the parents on separate occassions and were able to see the other's life through the photos the parents had up around the house. So we weren't totally blind to the other. Just no information passed to us about the other. Our parents stayed mute about the other person. This helped me anyway.

About ten years ago I get a letter from this sibling. They are ready to try again. They wondered if I am willing to "try again only this time we know what to not talk about". This sounded interesting to me. We'd always "hashed through stuff" and ended up mad all over again. A weary pattern honed over the years.

I wrote back. "Sure...but I don't have time or energy to put into anything negative or discuss the past. If you want to go forward, I'm willing. But only forward. I'm too old to go backward."

So we started writing to each other. Short notes in the beginning....then longer ones. Then e-mail. Then phone calls.

Today we are friends. Good friends. We know what NOT to talk about and we are totally dedicated to not bringing up the NOTS. We focus on today and tomorrow. We are so happy!

Can it happen that you are able to forge a friendship with someone you never got along with? Well, I'm experiencing it and I can tell you it is worth any scary feelings you might have about attempting it in the beginning.

Reach out.

Ask.

Make your desires known.

Set whatever boundaries you need to feel safe and comfortable. You'll keep some and drop some as the relationship develops anew.

Then sit back and see what happens.

Good can happen!

Peace!