Pathetic-Parenting
Bear with me....I need to get this stuff off-my-chest. Yes, I need to RANT about some of the pathetically poor parenting I witnessed all in one evening while grocery shopping tonight!!
Picture this:
Young couple, probably in their early 20's (I can't tell ages anymore) with about a 9 month-old in stroller. Mother is shoving the bottle into baby's mouth, baby is pushing it out and young mother says to the baby (in a totally irrate tone of voice) "HOLD THE BOTTLE YOURSELF. Learn to hold it yourself, for Pete's sake!!"
Okay. I get that it's more convenient to have a child hold their own bottle...but honey, that is NOT how you "teach" said skill. It was all I could do to walk on by and act like I wasn't recording the scene.
Experience #2:
Young child is in the sitting part of the shopping cart, not buckled-in (naturally!) and keeps trying to stand up in the seat. Young mother SHOVES said child back down each and every time he/she (I couldn't tell) tries this. "Sit down!" she shouts. "Sit down!" Over and over and over. I wanna say what? Oh, let's start with "You know...if you teach him/her to sit in the cart with the little belt around his or her waist, you won't have to contend with all that. Oh, and you could have a sweet, loving conversation with your child while you walk along." Novel concept I guess.
Scene #3
This is the killer. This one convinced me once-and-for-all that I could never, NEVER work in a grocery store and keep my mouth shut when people do this. I'd get fired for sure.
Tiny baby. You know the size. The size that make that newborn kind of cry? That unmistakable tiny baby cry?
Waaaaaa!!! Waaaaa!!! People start looking around to see where-is-that-coming-from??
Mother just keeps shopping.
Waaaaa! WWAAAAAA!!! Tiny baby is now desperate. People are starting to avoid the aisle where this woman is.
Tiny baby is now HYSTERICAL!!!!
And. So. Am. I. (nearly)
I'm shopping alone, so there is no one with me to embarass or advise me to just leave-it-alone.
I walk very gently up to the mother, lean in towards her cart and the hysterical baby and I say:
"EXCUSE ME, BUT YOUR BABY IS TALKING TO YOU!!!" (I have to say it rather loudly because the tiny baby is like a police siren at this point.)
And the mother says??? (Did I expect something else?)
"Lady, f--k off."
I turn and walk away....and of course my stomach is churning like mad.
IF a mother will allow her tiny baby to be ignored like this in public....God help that child....what does she do in the privacy of her own home?
Do you see things like this where you live?
What do you DO about it?
As far as I am concerned, this is the most basic form of child abuse there is. Blatent lack of concern for a child.
There.
I don't feel much better about my shopping experience, but at least the words are out.
Thanks for listenning. It feels so relevant....especially to that little person.
posted by Annie @ 12:44 AM
11 Comments:
Cripes that is awful. People oughta be kicked outta stores for that shit.
I so know what u mean Annie. I have seen alot of parents ignoring/abusing their kids while in public. And it's really a harassment to others too. Liek the last case u mentioned, recently a parent was totally deaf to a wailing baby and I was furious. Cos it was a tad too annoying! Unlike u I didnt say anything, but now u have given me the strength to walk up to the parent next time. Somehow I cant believe she asked u to F### OFF???
Keshi.
Sad but true. I've thought about it somemore and think perhaps I might approach the situation differently next time...because I know there WILL be a next time by the way I see people treating their children these days.
The alternative way might be to sweetly and gently approach the mom and say "Hi, can I be of any help to you? Your baby is so sweet...and so upset. Would it help you if I fed it for you?" or something along those lines.
Of course with all the craziness in the world the mom might automatically think "She's gonna STEAL my baby!!" Yeah right. I'll walk out of the store with a wailing baby and never be noticed. Right.
Anyway -- using the "f" word seems to be yet another "thing" I'm just not into and others are these days. Ugh.
Keshi, thanks for dropping by! Your blog is beautiful.
I think if people would stop ignoring people who mistreat their kids, there would be less of it. You know -- the "socially unacceptable" thing so people don't do it.
Annie, It bother me also when I see little ones crying. I can handle it a bit better when it is a child just showing that he didn`t get what he wanted as I know many can`t afford to buy all the extras with money so short. But those tiny babies who are usually either hungry or need changing. that bothers me. Most large markets today have a place for changing and it is so easy to bring along a bottle and push a cart with one hand and hold a bottle with the other hand. That doesn`t make the shopping trip last much longer.
What really bother me is the language or the slapping. Why not just remove the child from the store if it cuts up and leave it with a sitter the next time if you can`t handle your own child in public.
I have often walked over and kindly said things like- I remember what it was like to bring my kids shopping with me. ( I never acted like that with my kids, but they don`t know that.) Sometimes the parent will cool down and start talking to me and I notice that talking gives them time to cool down so they talk nicer to their kids after. Doesn`t always work, but sometimes it does.
hehe u will def get another chance to talk to such a mum.
**Yeah right. I'll walk out of the store with a wailing baby and never be noticed. Right.
LOL!
tnxxx Annie!
Keshi.
A few weeks ago sitting inthe dentist office waiting on my kids, a baby was wailing like that, absolutely screaming, the woman holding her wasn't doing a thing, nothing. Finally, I got tired of it, went over and offered my assistance. The woman gladly handed the baby over. I kept the baby happy for the next hour until the baby's mom came out. The woman holding her was her grandmom.
Baby got attention, I got my baby fix, we both left happy! lol.
Keep the rants coming! God, those people piss me off. Especially the one that told you to F- off. It seriously drives me nuts when people ignore their children. That poor baby probably just wanted a cuddle. And the disturbing thing is, if that's how these people behave in public, what do they do when no one's watching?
I had an experience watching a horrible mother and her four kids in the store. When I blogged about it, some said I should have spoken to her, but I know she would have responded as that last mom responded to you.
Um. I have been one of those people. And I'm not ignoring them. When you weren't looking, I did everything I could to get them to stop. But they are tired and cranky, and I need to pick up groceries because my day is crazy. And I am so self-conscious that people will think I'm a bad mother, but I'm just doing what the books tell me to do and I'm wracked with guilt that I'm doing everything all wrong and I know I'm probably driving everyone crazy but if I have to push my cart to the side and leave and come back again to do this all over again, it will be one more thing that makes me want to sit in a corner and cry and......
Reading the post, I was right back there when mine were small and loud. We still have battles in public and I can only wonder if passers-by think I'm awful. I'm really not. But you might think so if you only saw glimpses.
Helping is good. I had a mom behind me at check out and her kid was maxed out. I knew what she was going through. I pushed my stuff over and waved her in front of me. She said thanks, but I knew that inside a little dam of relief had just been released. She was nearly done, could get the kid home for a nap. Whew.
"Helping is good. I had a mom behind me at check out and her kid was maxed out. I knew what she was going through. I pushed my stuff over and waved her in front of me. She said thanks, but I knew that inside a little dam of relief had just been released. She was nearly done, could get the kid home for a nap. Whew."
Amusing, you've left me wondering if you live in the same part of the same big city I used to. Not that I think such acts of kindness are unique, but I still remember the relief I felt the day someone in line at the grocery let me check out in front of them when Solly was overdue for a nap. On behalf of whoever that mom was you helped, thanks.
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