MEAN GIRLS

I just returned from a visit to Meno's blog where she described her daughter's hurt and frustration with a "friend".

Oh my.

Her blog is written so well, As I read it, so many memories came flooding back.

So where are those mean girls who made my life so miserable so many years ago?

They are all grown up. They have had children of their own...and I hope they ended up with little mean girls of their own to contend with. Or maybe their little girls had to deal with mean girls? Hmmm Wonder how my "friends" dealt with all the pain of watching their little girls be hurt verbally? Lovely thought.

Well, no, not really.

In my heart-of-hearts I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Being made to feel less than acceptable is not a good thing. It is something that stays with a person their entire life!

Oh, we get past it, of course. But it travels with us throughout our life.

So the Mean Girls I used to contend with have married and had their families. They are probably grandmas by now -- several times over, no doubt. Gosh, they may even be great-grandmas if they started early and so did their children. What a funny thought.

A great-grandma who's a former Mean Girl.

Therefore, let us hope that great-grandma Mean Girl remembers some of the things she and her mean friends did to me. Let us hope she remembers how I lashed back at them...how I wouldn't let them see me cry...how, if they happened to be alone with me, I could tear them to shreds with my tongue-lashings. And once one of them even cried! I'm not particularly proud of that. (At the time I clearly recall thinking 'wow. I can be meaner than they are! ' Power.)

So...looking back on it...I guess that makes me a Mean Girl, too, doesn't it. Yep.

So what's the answer for Meno's little girl? I suggested she teach her daughter sarcasm, but now I'm not so sure.

Now I think perhaps there's much more to this. Tonight I'm thinking that as parents we need to begin waaaaaay back when they are little children. Before school. Before Mean Kids come into the picture.

We need to instill such self-confidence and self-assurance and gutsyness (is that a word?) in them so that having some peer make a snide comment to them simply causes them to what? To pause slightly? To laugh outloud? To smile and say "Oh, sorry you're having a rotten day!" and go on about their business? Some or all of the above?

Well, something like that.

If I could go back in time and know some of the things I so desperately needed to know, but never did....this would be #1 on my list -- and perhaps it can be there on Meno's list for her daughter.

I don't know who wrote it, but it's wonderful....

Whatever people do, feel, think or say, don't take it personally. Others are going to have their own opinion according to their belief system.

Whatever they think about you is not about you. It is about them...and the reverse is true, also.